The Power to Choose

The other night, my granddaughter Lexi woke up at 3:00 a.m. and wandered into her parent’s bathroom finding a bottle of pink nail polish. Somehow she managed to paint her toes, nails, cheeks, stomach, legs and arms with the polish without spilling a drop! I asked my daughter if she was pretty and she said, “Pinkalicious!”

Pinkalicious is a little girl who lives in a world of pink. The book about her life is a huge hit with little girls all over the world. She loves the color pink and although her parents warn her to not eat pink cupcakes she can’t resist them. When she does eat the pink cupcakes she turns pink. She has created her world to be exactly as she wants it to be. She is the scriptwriter of the play in which she has the starring role.

Just as Lexi did the other night; such abandonment, such joy! Lexi is three years old. She has not learned, completely the consequences of choices. Is that a bad thing? I think not. Would it not be good for us all to take a lesson from Lexi that every day, every moment there is a choice to be made, but it is for us to make that choice. And the best news is that if we make the wrong choice, we can start all over because the point of choice is now.

I thank God for my power to choose. I write my life in glowing colors of abundance, joy and love – and some days it might be the color pink!

The Spirit of God

“All good things are possible through God’s spirit within me.” ~ Daily Word Magazine

This past month has been a challenging month for me. It’s what I call a month of transition, a time when my heart tells me to end some things and begin new things. A sense of peace comes over me which helps me to make the right decisions for me. I can remember a time early in my life when I first felt that sense of peace. I was six years old (as in the picture). It was an age of awareness for me as it was when I realized that my mother struggled with an addition to alcohol and that there was nothing I could do to make her well. But what I could do was trust God to be with me at all times. I’m not sure how I knew that, but I did. I always felt there was an angel with me guiding me and supporting me and so I was not alone. I somehow always knew what was right for me.

I’m at that point again during this transition time. I went off the board of one organization, joined a new writers group, expanded my Girl Scout troop and posted everyday on my lifetimewriting.wordpress.com blog in preparation of committing to writing a complete novel in the month of November. And I also keep writing on my lifestyle blog hearthealthyboomer.wordpress.com . So it looks as though my world revolves around writing. But that is not so. As part of my leader position in Girl Scouts, I serve as the publicist for our Service Unit here in Catoosa County. My goal is to send once a week a press release, including photo to the local community paper. So far I am ahead of myself because I am making the effort to seek out what the troops are doing, going to those events and meetings, taking a picture and then sending out the press release.

And then there is my commitment to the P.E.O. International Organization (Philanthropic Educational Organization) that supports women in education. . I’ve been a member for over 37 years, having been initiated in to my mother’s chapter, AB in Louisiana. I’ve served as an officer at both the local and state level and been a member in 8 chapters all over the U.S.A.; the last one I helped to organize here in Tennessee.

It is easy to make time for P.E.O. because there is an unwritten rule that God, family, and P.E.O. rank in importance with all other commitments going after that. Another unwritten rule is to never say NO when asked to do something. In all my years I have said no three times; twice when I was asked to serve on another state board and once when asked to serve as president of my new chapter. The first time I said no I had a legitimate reason, I had gone to work full-time and couldn’t give the office the attention it needed. The second time, my husband asked me not to accept the position. Our business was struggling and he was blind to see how important it was to me. And I did not want to make things worse for him. So I took his advice and regretted it. I don’t blame him. I blame myself for not making it clear to him how important it was to me. I should have trusted my instincts and my faith in God in me. But here’s the kicker. In retrospect I realize he was right. The next three years of our life were crazy and I was needed not only at our business but with the grandchildren. It was the right thing to do; I just didn’t know it at the time.

And when I turned down the presidency of my new chapter, I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t have to consult my husband. I knew that if I was supposed to be the next president of my chapter, I would know it and say yes. The spirit of God within me guides me and gives me the wisdom to do what is right for me. That was my explanation when someone asked me why I turned the position down. And they replied with a desire to have the same kind of faith. I told them they already have it; they just have to tap into it and remember to trust themselves and God.

Fried Green Tomatoes

Fall is in the air. Opening the windows to feel the breeze in the house is delightful. Last weekend we collected the last of the crowder peas and froze them. The other night I cooked half the bag. Paige is spending the night Friday and since she planted the seeds, I thought it appropriate to share the bag with her. She loves baked beans, but I’m not so sure she will like crowder peas. We shall see.

During our hot spell, the tomatoes became stagnant, but the minute the weather cooled off, the yellow blossoms produced lots and lots of tomatoes. Unfortunately, we have to pick them before they are too ripe because we have a squirrel that loves our tomatoes. And then the other morning we woke to find ice on the car windshields. That made me think it was time to take down the tomato bed.

However, I hesitated and sure enough the warm days have returned and once again my tomatoes are turning orange, if not deep red. When the ice scared me and I thought of all the green tomatoes I figured I might as well pick a few and eat them green. Of course that meant I had to fry them first. So for lunch I sliced two tomatoes, dipped them in egg substitute mixed with a little salt and pepper, then into bread crumbs and fried them in a tiny bit of canola oil. They were light and delicious and made for a great lunch.

Every time I fry green tomatoes I think of Fannie Flagg’s book Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop. Everybody knows the movie based on the book was a huge success (and one of my all-time favorite movies.) But, in my opinion the book was better than the movie. This is because the book takes the reader past where the story ends in the movie. But it is hard to separate the characters in the movie with the ones in the book. In fact some paperback editions actually have the stars of the movie on the cover.

When I cook something that touches a memory, like fried green tomatoes do, it sparks my soul. It fills me with a sense of peace and connectedness to my own long lost relatives that lived during the depression and shared meals where fried green tomatoes were a staple.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

My Daddy loved his beer. He drank Budweiser beer from a can with a dash (or two) of salt on the lid. So when I came of age (which was 18 in those days) I too drank my beer with a dash of salt. Later I learned that I liked beer from a bottle better than a can and a dash of salt was a waste of time. And then it was about that time that I quit drinking altogether. That lasted about twenty years. That’s not to say I didn’t have a glass of wine or a beer when I went out to dinner or at a party, but never at home or on a regular basis. I had four children to raise and a hard-working husband who did enjoy his two beers a night after a long day at work.

Today my children and their spouses are all hardworking fulltime employees and all enjoy a glass of wine or beer or two after work. I can’t begrudge them that. Times have changed and they are after all grownups raising their own children. After they were all grown and gone from the “nest” I found a wine I liked, and therefore enjoy a couple of glasses in the evening while cooking dinner, but I remember the first time I asked for a glass of wine in front of my children. It was unsettling to say the least. But I needn’t fear for they were all fine with it. That was years ago and it is nice to know that today my children and I see each other as equal adults and not parent and child.

That is why I am grateful my daughter felt comfortable about telling me this story on herself. The other day she came home from work and popped a can of beer. The baby came home from daycare sick and before she could drink her beer, the doctor’s office returned her call. She was surprised to hear they wanted to see the baby right then. My daughter called her three-year-old into the room and said she was taking the baby to the doctor. The three-year-old asked if Daddy was going to stay with her and my daughter said of course and she and the baby would be home soon.

Picking up the baby and heading out the door, the three-year-old cried, “Mommy wait.” My daughter turned and asked what was wrong. Her daughter responded, “You forgot your beer.”

Looking For the Reality of What Is

Within the past month I applied for two jobs….actually re-applied. For you see I had applied once before and was ignored by one and told there were no funds for the position on the other. But a few months had passed and I tried again only to learn that both jobs were available.

Upon being interviewed, I was offered the first job. But I turned it down because at the same time, I interviewed for the second job and accepted that offer. And then I quit the second job before I started. You might think that sounds pretty fickle and in this economy, who turns down or quits a job?

I know what is right for me and what is not and I live each day with that knowledge. As each day unfolds, I am content in knowing that my decisions are the right decisions for me. There have been many times when I have volunteered to do something for someone or some organization and regretted the offer. But I did it anyway, because it was the honorable thing to do. Or so I thought.

But there comes a time in one’s life that we just have to say NO or STOP – no matter what the circumstance. In my case, I was not a good fit and I knew in my heart that would affect my job. I would be unhappy and therefore my work would not be good and by default, I would not be good.

What is next? I don’t know, but I’m not worried. Having my wishes come true is what God wants for me. It is my natural state to co-create my reality with God who is always present in my life. What a great way to wake up in morning and know that as Emma Curtis Hopkins puts it, “a river of light” (God’s light) is running through me lifting me up and supporting me in all my decisions. That is my Reality of What Is.

All Creatures Great and Small

Yesterday I killed a wasp. Today I wake and find my heart is heavy with sadness for the life of one of God’s creatures. We do it all the time; step on an ant, swat a fly, spray insecticide on our garden plants – they are after all “pests” aren’t’ they?

It was late in the afternoon, the sun behind dark clouds that were avoiding us and so the heat was almost bearable on the back porch. Suddenly my husband said from across the porch, “There is a wasp by your head.” For some odd reason I did not run or even move, but sat motionless with my hand resting on my glass of wine.

The wasp flew to the lip of my wine glass and I tried to blow him off. After all, I was able to gently blow a billiards ball into the pocket of the pool table impressing my two-year-old grandson. Surely, I could blow away a wasp.

He flew to the plant on the table next to me and back to my glass. I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be long before he dived into the wine for a swim.

My husband went to get some newspaper. As he did, the wasp landed on my hand. I looked at him and for a fraction of a second there was a connection between one of God’s creatures and myself. He tiptoed along my finger and hopped back onto my glass. About that time my husband returned. I lifted my glass and turned away as he swatted the wasp, killing him. It had to be done; after all he had entered our world. Had he stayed outside with all the other creatures, he would have been safe. Seeing my sadness my husband reminded me of my garden spider who lives just outside my kitchen window and although appears frightening, is in fact a friend, not a pest.

Yeah. I can keep coming up with excuses and I know people will make fun of me for being sad over killing an insect. But there is a lesson in this experience for me and everyone who reads this. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us.”

I recognize and bless the Divine life in all creatures I encounter (whether they are human or insect). I also forgive myself any instances wherein I don’t live up to those intentions. And doing so, the grief of my heart is relieved and I once again am filled with joy and love for my own life and the lives of all who touch my life.

“Countless are the things you have made, LORD; by your wisdom you have made them all; the earth is full of your creatures.” ~ Psalm 104:24

http://youtu.be/eLeq2vj9kcA

Something to Write About

Last night I had the pleasure of meeting some of the most talented authors in the area. Over twenty were at the Chattanooga Writers’ Guild meeting laden with books, computers, magazines, journals, postcards, posters, and pen in hand to sign a sold book.

I had hoped to prepare them in the event the turnout was not what they expected. And to remember that no matter how many people came to this event, it did not diminish the work they have accomplished as writers. Most of them have other careers including professors at several colleges and universities, business men and women, counselors, and scientists to name a few.

It was a perfect opportunity for them to network as well. But from one writer to another, it was all of our hopes to have a huge crowd buying books. I will look at the evaluation sheets I had the writers fill out and see what I can suggest to the CWG board next year. For this is my last year on the CWG board as it is in our bylaws that one can serve a maximum of three years, and since the first meeting of the year is in September, it was my last time to plan a program as well.

It has been a good three years. I have met some great people and served on the board with a wonderful group of men and women dedicated to making the CWG a great organization meeting the needs of writers in and around the Chattanooga area. I still plan to remain active in the CWG because who would not want to get opportunities like last night?

I met a young woman who wrote her first book and got to see her smile and eyes shine with pride. I met a professor at Dalton State College who told me about some writing classes coming up. I saw a friend who gave me a tip on a story for Catoosa Life Magazine’s September/October issue. I made a new friend in a writer who invited me to help start a new writing group and who told me that another writer, Nancy Williams, who I had not seen in a year or so had died recently. And that made me sad. And then I met a woman from Cleveland who was friends with Marcia Brantley, the missing Cleveland woman who is presumed dead. The last time I saw Marcia was at the CWG board meeting when she was going off the board and and I was coming on. She disappeared right after that, hopefully by choice and not by ill fate. I don’t plan to disappear.

My thoughts are with Nancy’s and Marcia’s family and friends and with all the talented and successful writers that I had the honor of sharing a celebration of publication last night. It was something to write about!