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Saturday, April 7, 2012

Recently, I’ve been drawn to the concept that we are all connected in one way or the other. Spiritually, I’ve believed this for years, maybe my whole life. When I was a child, I would find myself standing at an open window sheltered by the sweet smell of a cedar tree, wondering who in the world was also feeling what I was feeling.

Later when I grew in adolescents, I struggled with the same issues of every other teenage girl until I finally got to the point of asking the most important question which was why did I ever want to be a teenager. It was not, as I dreamed, all it was made up to be, but surely other girls (and boys) felt like me.

As a young mother, every decision I made came from my gut. I survived motherhood from pure instinct, never knowing was I making the right or wrong decision for my children, my husband, and my extended family. I took a leap of faith and let the ball bounce, as the saying goes. Comforting as it was to see other parents struggling with the same issues, it never seemed like their problems were the same as mine and it was lonely at times. That I questioned our connections was an answer in itself.

The older I get, the more clearly I see the similarities in other’s lives. One couple may be enjoying their empty nest and retirement years while the other finds it frightening. One set of grown children seems to have the perfect life while another deals with children with learning disabilities. One woman wakes each day wishing she had not while another wakes and thanks God the cancer has not come back. Each of these people is living a different life and yet each is the same. They are all one in God.

Coming to this realization took many years for me; however, looking back I was already conscious of this state of mind. I know this because from an early age I had compassion for all I met. I didn’t walk around saying this or bring it to other’s attention. It was a gift, to be able to see others and feel one with them; one in their pain, one in their happiness, one in their love. Everyone has this gift; tapping into it is the challenge. To meet this challenge one must be present in the lives of those we are connected.

Yesterday my neighbor and I were talking outside while his daughter and my granddaughter played. Sirens, on the highway got louder and louder. Suddenly, four fire trucks, a fire chief, three police cars and an ambulance pulled up to a house three doors down. There was no fire that we could see and as it turned out it was just a small fire in a trash can; a lot of hoopla for nothing. Until I looked around and saw my neighbor’s wife standing at the door. And I suddenly remembered that it had not been too many years ago that the house we were standing in front of had burned down. They lost everything inside including their dog. And what was still intact was stolen while the house was roped off by the fire chief until the cause (which was faulty wiring when the house was built) could be determined.

Maybe my granddaughter distracting their daughter, and maybe my presence were both a coincidence, but I think not. Being present I was able to comfort and share in my neighbor’s pain as she remembered that day her house burned down. I know I remember watching it from my granddaughter’s house and praying for the family who lived there and who I didn’t know. Yesterday, I prayed for them again, and now they are my friends and neighbors. The prayer was the same.