Life is a Gift

Sunday afternoon turned cool with temperatures dropping into the high sixties. And considering the fact that it is mid-July, it was quite comfortable if not a little dis-settling. After picking a batch of purple hull crowder peas, tying up some tomato plants, and picking a few weeds all in the garden on the patio, my husband challenged me to a game of Scrabble.

The kids gave us a new board for Christmas, one that spins and stores everything in hidden drawers under the board, and it is one of the few board games we enjoy playing. We both had some great words; filled the board completely with less than three letters each at the end. But as usual my husband won. (Hint: don't play with an accountant and expect to win. I think they actually count the letters!) Me, I have to keep glancing at the cheat sheet to see how many A's are left and what my chances are in getting a U to go with the Q that I've had forever. I still have to use a cheat sheet when I play poker because I can't remember what's better two pair or three of a kind. (It doesn't stop me from being a pretty good poker player.)

We decided homemade black-eyed pea salsa (hoppin' jack) and chips along with beer and some Two Buck Chuck wine from Trader Joe's in Atlanta would make for a great dinner which we could enjoy while playing our game.

Somewhere in time, about three fourths of the way through the game we decided to have philosophical discussion on death. My husband always feared he'd follow his father and die in his mid-fifties of a heart attack. He passed that mark and has no clue when he'll die (like most of us.) His mother died in her seventies like my father both of what I like to call "old age." My mark is to live past my mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother who all died around 63 of cancer (or consumption.) Does this mean I have only a few years left to live? Or will I too die of "old age?" Of course we could both be hit by a car today and solve the mystery.

The point of our discussion was not what happens when one dies but the effect death has on the ones left. In the case of his father and my mother, both died without any warning and so we were never able to say "goodbye" or prepare ourselves for their death. My husband watched the paramedics try to revive his father while I got a long-distance call from my sister telling me our mother died in her sleep and we didn't even know she was sick.

Tragic yes, but so are buildings being attacked by terrorist, plane crashes and war. In the grand scheme of things, there is consolation that our parents didn't suffer and they didn't have to grow old and suffer from all the debilitating, embarrassing and sad life the slow death of old age can be.

But as the game winded down and the beer and wine started to run out, we settled on the one death that impacted us the most - the loss of our dog Speck. Okay you can laugh, but it is true. For fourteen years he was the one constant in our life. He loved us and we him and when he died a few years ago, even the kids struggled to come to our house knowing their precious pet was gone.

We buried him before dawn one morning wrapped in my old pink satin robe that he loved. It was a very cold February and the ground was iced over and crackled when my husband was digging the grave. We placed him in the grave with one of his favorite tennis balls and covered him with rich dirt, pine needles, and said a prayer thanking God for his life.

Remembering that day brought tears to both of our eyes and the game of Scrabble was over anyway so we closed up the board and continued to cry but this time for not only our dog, but our parents and our friends who have died. It was good to set them free and release them, but not from our hearts where they will always remain.

I'm not sure if there is a moral to this story; that Scrabble, beer and cheap wine mix with a discussion of death but for us it worked. The point is to live each day as if it is your last - no regrets. (I don't mean live irresponsibly but live with conviction and purpose.) Be the person you are supposed to be glad in it.

Life is a gift from God - cherish it!