Stay the Course

“Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee….” -- St. Augustine

One of my favorite scenes in the movie Driving Miss Daisy is the one where Morgan Freeman’s character, Hoke, is driving Miss Daisy (Jessica Tandy) to the Piggly Wiggly grocery store. He turns and she says something like, “You’re doing it wrong.” For he was not going to the store the same way she was used to going. They argued the whole way to the store but in the end they made it.

I had a similar experience with my granddaughter Paige the other day. I picked her up from school and headed to a local restaurant to meet her mother and other grandparents as they and other members of their family gathered after the funeral of Paige’s Uncle Charles. Her mother had given me directions from Paige’s school.

However, I asked Paige if she remembered where this place was and she indeed did. She said, “You go through the park (Chickamauga National Park) and the restaurant in on your right.”

I said, “Well, we are not going through the park. We are coming from the other direction.” But she insisted her way was the only way. I said, “But Paige, that’s the way you do it when you are coming from your Grandma and Papaw’s house. We are coming from your school.”

It still didn’t seem to sink in. She got silent and as I turned left toward the park and the restaurant, Paige said, “Or you could do it this way.” I glanced at her in my rear view mirror and saw the smile on her face and realized we had come to an agreement. After all our goal was the restaurant, not the route we took to get there. And in her mind, it didn’t matter that my way was the wrong way as long as I got her to her mother and family.

I laughed until I cried at the joy of realizing how important it is to the stay the course. All of us make wrong turns; doing or saying something we probably should not have said; having negative thoughts that impair our right thinking. When that happens to me, I remind myself that the path I’m on belongs to God, not me. I am confident in my own destiny because my life is God’s life in me. I am on the right course.

“If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit.” – Galatians 5:22

Seeing With Clear Vision – January 30, 2011

Recognizing God’s Truth

“I desire to remain and do whatever be your Holy will in my regard.” – Mother Teresa

I guess if someone asked me who my hero was, I’d have to say Mother Teresa. Not because she did good works but because she had the ability to look at people and see God and do so without thinking about it. She was able to live her life in service and humility as if it were the natural thing to do. Led by her belief in God, she knew what to do before being told.

I had a professor at Salem College in Winston-Salem, North Carolina whose lectures turned me into a sponge as I soaked up every word he said. But gradually I came to realize that the things he said or taught, I already knew before he said it. At first it frightened me, but when I questioned him he told me that I already knew the answers, but that I wasn’t ready to hear them in my heart.

Having this knowledge was powerful. To know that inside my being is a wealth of knowledge just waiting for me to recognize as God’s truth and then be called to act upon it without hesitation is transforming. And doing what God calls me to do means that I will know what to do and when to do it, not unlike my hero, Mother Teresa. Now, I may not be treating the sick in a leaper’s colony, but just as Mother Teresa did not see the scars and scabs of the disease of her patients; instead she saw Jesus, I too can choose to look at another and see the face of God.

Each morning I recite a 10-step Tai Chi called “new forest tai chi” by John Bright-Frey. Number Four is CORE – being strong, solid, and sturdy. I add that I have at my core God (and I place my right hand over the center of my chest) and that I center my life in Jesus Christ therefore I lead a balanced life (and I spread my arms wide.) Reminding myself each day that I’m strong and can do whatever I want to do and know that I have the power within me to know what to do before I’m told is recognizing God’s truth.

“and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” – John 8:32

Seeing With Clear Vision; January 27, 2011

Realizing Your Purpose

“Creativity is not something you wait for. It is something that waits for you.” – Neale Donald Walsh

When I was fourteen years old, my Cadette Girl Scout Troop took a bus trip from Baton Rouge, Louisiana to Petite Jean State Park in Arkansas. We had worked hard selling our Girl Scout cookies and made enough money so that our parents didn’t have to foot the complete bill for the trip. Interstate highways were few and far between. So we made the trip north along state highways slowing down as we passed through towns. Somewhere in north Louisiana, we stopped for snacks at a gas station. Inside we purchased snacks, drinks, magazines and paperback books. I picked up a mystery novel by Phyllis A. Whitney. By the time I reached the state park, I had finished the book. And planted in my heart was the desire to be a writer.

The other day I picked up a local magazine that I found interesting, enjoyable to read, and well-done. I immediately felt the pull to write for this magazine, but as usual, fear of rejection crept up and put the procrastinator bug in my mind. The magazine sat for weeks on my desk. Then I remembered that when I am called to do something that appears too large, I need to trust God. I realized the editor of the magazine would never know I was interested in writing for him, if I didn’t let him know. So I typed up an inquiry and hit the send button on my computer.

Being pulled to do what I love should not be a problem; it should be a gift. Listening to what God wants me to do is a joy and with God as my guide, I am successful. For today, I received a response from the editor who is interested in the possibility of my contributing some articles for the magazine and thanked me for my inquiry. He is looking forward to seeing some of my past articles from other magazines and newspapers.

I may not be writing mystery novels or making mega bucks for the work I’ve already published, but being able to put my words down on paper and feel a sense of accomplishment that I have a purpose is a pretty darn good feeling. I realize my purpose and I claim my good.

“You shall be successful.” – Joshua 1:8


Seeing With Clear Vision – January 26, 2011

The Light of Love

“Our obligation is to give meaning to life and in doing so to overcome the passive, indifferent life.” – Elie Wiesel

I was feeling pretty good about things yesterday. I realized that it was the sun. It has been so long since I felt its warmth. I actually had to roll the windows down (well at least part-way!) Waiting in the carpool line I was even disappointed that I got to my granddaughter’s school early enough to be facing away from the sun and not into the sun. Any other time, I’d be grateful, but not yesterday.

Then while listening to the national news at the top of the hour, I heard about the frigid weather hitting our nation’s capital that even the beltway around Washington D. C. had been shut down. After a week of being snowed in earlier this month, I can sympathize with their situation, but I must admit, I did feel more than a little grateful that it was them and not me.

What happens when the sunshine breaks through the clouds and lifts our spirits? In many ways it is like the light of God’s love which is always present even at times when we don’t know it. A dear friend sent me an email yesterday thanking me for making her day a little better. Because of the rain in her part of the country she had not been able to go outside and work in her garden. Instead she had remained inside forcing her to think about things that were not particularly productive. Worry over an acquaintance struggling with life’s problems was heavy on her heart. But in time she and her husband came up with some solutions to help the friend. It may have a dreary day outside, but inside her warm home and within her heart the light of God’s love continued to shine.

I am reminded of the Festival Lights celebrated at Hanukkah whose message is that the eternal light shines in the life of each of us, even in times that seem darkest. No matter what is going on in my life, I can remember the truth that the light of Spirit is shining in our lives.

My joy in feeling the warmth of the sunshine is a reflection of the warmth I feel for my friend. And if something I said or did helped her in some way or gave meaning to an experience she was feeling, then I thank God for that opportunity. It is after all, what we are called to do – to live in goodness and love.

“You are the light of the world.” -- Matthew 5:14

Seeing With Clear Vision – January 25, 2011

Just Breathe

“When we have learned to use it, the breath becomes a support for awareness.” – Jack Kornfield

Last night I dreamed I lived in a one-room apartment in a big city. There was no roof on the apartment. I was lying in bed with my husband and looking at the wide open night sky watching the stars, the planes going by and the twinkling of lights on the tall buildings surrounding the apartment. The noise was terrible but the screaming coming from the next apartment is what I found most disturbing. And then I realized it was my son and the screams were real.

Before my husband and I could question why our son was screaming from the first floor of his home, I heard the screams of his wife calling to me, “Mimi, Mimi, Mimi.” I flew down the stairs to find our grandson choking on the mucus from his cough and shaking and burning up with fever. I’m not sure if they handed him to me or I took him out of their arms but the maternal instinct in me kicked in and I suddenly found myself holding my grandson who was struggling to breathe.

My first inclination was to bring the fever down so I ordered (yes ordered) my husband into the shower, and he did as I said. But I realized what I needed to do is calm the baby down and stop the shaking and crying. I sat down on the bench at the foot of my son’s bed and laid Hayden across my lap on his stomach. My son called 911, my husband got out of the wet clothes from standing in the shower and brought my daughter-in-law a cool washrag which she used to gently bath the baby’s head. We all took a deep breath and watched as Hayden’s sobs turned to heavy breathing to peaceful breathing as I rubbed his back and we whispered comforting words. Finally asleep, the EMS arrived and whisked him and his mother off to T.C. Thompson Children’s Hospital. Two hours later we were home and all is well. Hayden will be fine thanks to the quick action of his parents, his grandparents, the EMS and the staff at the hospital.

Driving back home, I got to thinking about my dream of being surrounded in the chaos of the city noise and then waking to the chaos of my grandson struggling to breathe and that quiet strength that gave me the power to be present in my grandson’s life. At the center of my being is peace because my center and source is God. Surrounded by the presence of God, all of us in the room felt supported and aware of the peace of God. It is all good.

“The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” -- Philippians 4:7

Seeing With Clear Vision – January 24, 2011

Seeing With a Clear Vision – January 23, 2011

“Take up the song; forget the epitaph.” – Edna St. Vincent Millay

I am one with God and with all in life. I accept that; I relish it; I am proud to be the person I am; the person God intends me to be. My biggest challenge is to not forget this. I tend to let old fears of insecurity and loneliness creep into my core of being. It is safe and quiet when I close my heart and eyes to the world outside. But is that the real me? I think not.

Every decision I make reflects back on the people in my life be they family, friends, acquaintances, or strangers. If I don’t affirm the truth of who I am, how can I ever be complete? My life would continue to play out as a sour note on a piano that needs tuning. I read once that one should be careful about what they say because your brain might actually take you seriously. For example, if you say, out of habit, “My head is killing me,” you might mean you have a bad headache, but your brain might be actually killing you. I know that it is a little over-dramatic, but you get my point which is that if we have a habit of saying negative things about ourselves, we need a new language or tune.

Having a positive attitude is the first step in living a life of wholeness. Taking this attitude gives me the opportunity to move forward with my life, not look back. It gives me the courage to say, “I am proud of who I am and the choices I make.”

I once interviewed a man who had written a beautiful poem that was used in a memorial service. I asked him if he wanted to add anything to our interview, to give me a quote I could use. He said, “When I die, I’d like people to remember me as a poet and not as a judge.” It got me to thinking of how people would remember me when I die. And then I realized that it was a waste of time thinking about it because I was living it every day. Proof of my experience is in my daily actions. That’s how people will remember me and with God as my source I have everything I need.

“Show by your good life that your works are done with gentleness born of wisdom.” – James 3:13

Seeing With Clear Vision – Jan. 22, 2011

“It is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Today in the wee hours of the morning, this world as my family knows it lost a sweet soul. My daughter-in-law’s Uncle Charles died. His heart gave out after successful bypass surgery. His illness was short-lived having suffered a heart attack on Monday he was gone three days later.

I did not know Charles well, but I loved and respected him because he loved his great-niece, my granddaughter Paige. In fact the last memory Paige and her mother, Debbie have of their Uncle Charles was only a week ago today when they sought him out at the Mall where he worked.

For those of you who did not know him, Charles worked in the Food Court at Hamilton Place Mall. Both physically and mentally handicapped, he was dedicated to his job and worked silently, always in pain and sometimes under the stress of his abilities. Falling or hindered in some way cleaning the tables and emptying the garbage, he continued to smile and greet customers.

Last Saturday, Paige and her mother were at the Mall and as usual looked up their Uncle Charles. It took him a second or two to recognize them, but deep in his heart, he saw them and remembered he had not given Paige a Christmas present. And without thinking about his own needs, he handed her $25 and wished her a Merry Christmas.

Charles was thinking from his heart, not his head. To be able to think from the heart is to live a life of love. He was afraid of people and yet he worked all day surrounded by strangers. He could not take care of himself and yet did not want to be a burden on his brothers and their wives. He struggled remembering what he had for breakfast and yet he saw Paige’s face and knew in his heart that she was special to him. He gave when he did not have to give. That is rich.

The world was a better place because of Charles Turner. I thank God I had the opportunity to get to know him and more importantly I thank God that my granddaughter was blessed to know such a man.

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” -- Proverbs 23:7

Seeing With Clear Vision - January 21, 2011

“In my end is my beginning.” – T.S. Eliot

Everything I go through in life produces spiritual growth. Two months ago, my husband and I embarked on a most unusual journey – bankruptcy. Not something I ever dreamed would happen to us but it did and, “it is what it is.” There is no shame in filing bankruptcy as our debt was not personal debt but debt incurred from our business. However, our business was our personal debt so it was a very serious step in our journey. I like to think of it as a crook in the road.

I cannot speak to my husband’s state of mind before, during, or after this process ended – only how it has affected me. It is important that I take the time to reflect on this experience and consider its meaning for me. If my husband asked me again to give up our world of corporate finance to start our own business with two of our grown children, would I say yes again? Of course.

Looking back the past sixteen years, our family has grown to include two daughter-in-laws, one son-in-law, three grandchildren and one on the way. My children are best friends to each other and their spouses. They are best friends to my husband and me. When I look at my family I do not see a family stricken with the burden of bankruptcy, I see good, joy, love and peace. Although my children did not lose their home or business, two lost their jobs as they worked for us. But we are all better for the sixteen years we shared in our family business. I consider it a success and not a failure. I am proud that we took a chance and made a difference in the communities we lived and worked.

So what is next? I am not anxious about my life because my good is centered in God and I know my needs will be met. By surrendering to the power, presence and life of God, I become the force of God for good that is reflected in the life I lead. A greater good then comes forth for me and is always available and present in me.

An end has come to my life but it is a chance for me to start fresh and recognize that renewal is a natural process. I affirm that I am a better person because of my circumstances and I will grow and learn from this experience. And it will be a new beginning because I choose to see as God sees and I am one in God.

“For this I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth.” –John 18:37